Rachna Santh aur Rashmi Verma: Mummy O’ Mummy

Chandu’s sudden transformation into a transsexual had flummoxed us all. Was it due to mental stress of the exams or some deeper phenomenon?

“Mujhey tho samajh mein nahi aya, why would a guy want to dress up as a girl?” Rachna asked while feeding Rashmi a hot paratha laced with rich curd.

“Arrey, as my moottu  said, it is a state of mind and body. Ab hum yeh nahi keh saktey ki if it is just some mind issue with Chandu or if he was physically born as a transgender.” Rashmi said as she gobbled a paratha.

“Tujhey bada pata hei, kya tu Chandu key saath bhi soo chuki hei.” Rachna laughed aloud when she said this.

“You silly girl, behave yourself. I am purely heterosexual. So what if size doesn’t matter for me, mein sirif mardoun se mohobatt karti hun.” Rashmi said with all her womanly pride.

“Really darling? tho phir tu mujhsey pyaar nahi kartii?” Rachna said while pulling Rashmi’s cheeks as the two ladies laughed and teased each other by having a pillow fight.

As the ladies got involved in their pillow fights, the bedroom door opened and walked in Jawani. He looked around and said “Rachna yeh tuneeey darwazey par kya likha hein. Jawani aur Rachna ka kamraa. You want the world to know that we are lovers?”

“Haan tho kya hua? Meiney tho pehle hi kaha tha mein campus padhai ;ikhai karnein nahi ayi hun, mein tho yahoo ek husband dhondh ney ayin hun, aur wo merey samney khada hei.” Rachna said while putting her arms around Jawani Pathania. This was the first time Rachna had showed her love for Jawani so blatantly.

“Accha meri ma, where is the Maggie? Please yaar, I smuggled the iron kettle and the cookingware into this room so you girls could make the evening tea and snacks for us. Wo sala Aniljeet Bacheer or uska sidekick yogi phi bhookein hein.”

Archana got down to what she was best at, spreading motherly love for all, as she cooked up the Maggie within minutes. The whole room was smelling like a saint banquet now as others joined in to tuck into the evening tea and snacks. The love amongst the campus folks was evident, everyone helped each other and was protective of each other. In midst of all this, there were rivalries, competitions, peace, wars and ego clashes too, but most of the time, they were sorted out.

Rachna Sant, well what can I say, she was a cross between a Bhai from Lokhandwala and a fisherwoman from Khar. But what she truly had was motherly love and tons of it. She poured most of her love into Jawani Pathania. Jawani was from a political influential family from the hills of Uttrakhand. His father was a powerful minister. He was born into influence and political wealth. Well, so was our little mummy, Rachna. She came from a top political Family too. Was it really love between them? Or, as us campus folks gossiped, was it a marriage of convenience? As it is, Rachna had proclaimed in the beginning itself that she was here to find a husband, a suitable husband, as she had no desire to do anything else in life but look after her kids and her home. Her desire to achieve that came out when she wrote on the door of her room “Jawani aur Rachna ka Kamra.” But it has to be said that this lady fed us all throughout my stay on the campus.

My Maruti 800 was also the nagarvadhu of the campus as I was generous enough to lend it to everybody.

“Yo Mottu, need your car tonight. I am taking Sumedha out for a date in the evening. Please, I need it for the night.” Anil Goel said to me in a pleading tone.

“Yaar Anil, you are a ungrateful wretch. You always take my car and then return it without putting any fuel in it. Last time, you even broke the side mirror. Salle gaaand mar dunga if you damage my car and return it!” I looked at Anil and said in a stern and aggressive tone.

“Haan, I will be careful yaar. I am not like the others as the people on campus say ki teri car aur teri girlfriend ek jesei hein.”

“What do people say?” I asked Anil Goel.

“Ki teri car aur teri girlfriend ek jesi hein, jo saabse thookin hein sivaye terey se.” he laughed wildly at his own joke.

I felt like he had struck a sword in my heart when he said these words. “Abbey behenchodh, ab tu cycle par Subedha ko date par le ja. Mein tujhey abni car udhaar par nahi de raha.” I said as I walked past Anil.

I was used to getting insulted like this but the love that I had for my Chandramukhi never faded even after such assaults on me and on her character.

“Go away, you also go away like the rest of them. You also leave me.” Rashmi was in one of her depressive moods and she was crying and thumping my chest as she said this.

“Uff come on yaar, I mean, how long can we go on like this? We haven’t even had sex. Kar talk tum expect katsakteey ho ki mean hi is relationship mean tummy dun, after all, I also deserve your intimacy in return.”

“You are my protector Mottu, it’s because of you that I am still sane. I owe you so much, can’t you see? I love hearing your stories and the way you cuddle me and put me to sleep.”

I picked up some tissues so that she could wipe away her tears. Then with warmth and empathy, she said. “I keep you here above in the heavens. I have nothing to give. I have nothing more to give you. Please, I am so unclean. I am so unclean, I don’t deserve you. Really, I don’t.”

It was moments like these that made me melt. I mean, how was I to react seeing my Chandramukhi in so much pain? As usual, I would relent, put her back to sleep and, like her obedient slave, walk out of the room shutting the lights. This would go on throughout our campus life.

All characters and events depicted in this film are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to actual events or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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