My Hedonistic Life and The Pleasure Paradox

I grew up as an intelligent outgoing child steeped in family values and common morality that is preached and practised in most Indian households like a family life, a stable job, two kids, one wife and so on. It was only during my working life after my engineering days that I realised that life is much more than this. I had my first sexual experience at the age of 21 with a young girl who was a friend of my sister’s and thus started my journey into hedonism and non-conformity. During my MBA days, I had a girlfriend and, yes, we did indulge in an intimate sexual experience. My experimentation with drugs also started at that age. Both gave me immense pleasure especially drugs along with sex as it can be a very sensual and orgasmic experience. I indulged with both during my working life and even through my marriage which did not last long. Hedonism comes from the word ‘Hedone’ which simply means pleasure. I can safely say that in all my life, I have held hedonism as the highest pursuit of happiness. The pleasure of the senses and the mind has been my life goal and remains so even now. Be it drugs, women or drink, I have presumed them to the hilt. The dichotomy of this is that pain follows pleasure like a close cousin. There cannot be pleasure without pain. The brutal murder of my father was a very painful experience as it was a by-product of my hedonistic lifestyle. My divorce, which also caused pain, was also a by-product of this life. So is my aloneness and the fact that I have no family is also because of my hedonistic lifestyle. Every man tries to maximise his pleasure and minimise his pain.


All of us pursue happiness, pleasure and joy through various means. After all, the very goal of life is to pursue one’s own happiness. Pain is the intrinsic by-product of pleasure and a man who pursues pleasure must be ready to accept pain.


The pleasure paradox is another curious animal which states that the mere fact of perusing pleasure does not mean that you actually derive it. It states that pleasure comes to us by chance and in a rather unexpected manner. It does not come to us when we go actively looking for it. It is something like love. It just happens to us at times like a gift from the gods.


Public life job and possessions gave me no satisfaction. What was paramount for me was the pleasure of the senses. Other men strive for prestige, power, possessions and money. These have always been hollow goals for me. I have always wanted to pursue hedonism, art, poetry and intellectual pursuits as they give me immense joy. So here I am, the Aiyaash Anuj Tikku in all his glory unabashedly perusing pleasure and a hedonistic lifestyle.

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